Singing about connections
Posted: February 10, 2015 Filed under: camp 2 Comments
I spent the summers of 1977-1980 at an all girls overnight camp in Maine. There were about 130 girls there each summer all donned in green shorts and white shirts. The counselors, who were as much a part of the community as the girls, wore blue shorts and white shirts. The girls ranged from ages seven-eight to fifteen-sixteen, or at camp you would say Bunk 12 (the youngest) to Senior D (the oldest).
We sang. I really mean it, we sang ALL.OF.THE.TIME. Anyone can tell you there is a song for getting up in the morning, going to bed at night and everything in between including every meal, picking up paper, perfect posture, if it rains (but you can’t say the r word) and absolutely everything you can think of. Not to mention, as the end of the summer approaches, an entirely new set of songs gets put into the mix about not wanting to go home and/or never wanting to leave camp.
There are also all green songs, all white songs, green and white songs, tons of birthday songs, and, of course, whenever anyone that is not part of the camp community enters the dining room, why, there is a song greeting them, as well.
And, if you couldn’t guess it, there were song leaders. Being a song leader was probably the most coveted role at camp, other than being a team captain (yes, Green or White teams). The song leaders were chosen at the beginning of the summer and led throughout the summer, but who am I kidding, once a song leader always a song leader.
The four song leaders per summer would stand up on chairs in the middle of the dining room during every meal. Two would face one direction and two would face the other so that every camper could see a song leader. They would choose the songs from their perch and then do a little pitch before starting the song. They would then lead us in song by keeping the beat to the song via complicated hand motions that are forever part of your DNA (for the record, I just motioned them at my desk).
The younger girls would mimic the hand motions from their seats at the dining tables while the song leaders led the entire camp in song. It was spirited and loud, but there were also moments that were more serene and peaceful. We sang at meals, at sports events, at campfires, on buses, on hikes, you name it, we sang.
Why all this talk about song?
Our camp songs have been quieted. A bright, energetic and talented song leader has just lost her battle with cancer. She was more than a song leader, she was a camper, a Green team captain, a counselor and a musician. She was a a daughter, a sister, a friend, a wife and a mom. She was a connector; she kept everyone in touch and in the loop while also caring for all.
I went to her funeral today. The service was beautiful. Her rabbi, friend, brother and husband all spoke and filled in the pieces of her that were not-camp. Her husband did mention in his eulogy that for her “all roads really did lead to camp.”
After the service the camp people gathered. There were a few people that I have been in touch with through Facebook over the years that I knew would be present. There were also faces that I had not seen in thirty-five years; once the name was said, I immediately placed them back into their green shorts and white shirts.
The age range spanned probably twenty years. There were the “big kids” from when I was a camper, and then the “little kids” to whom I was a “big kid”. And mind you, we are all now ranging from our forty’s to sixty’s or older, many of whom have sent their daughters to the camp.
It was a surreal experience. Even if there was someone there today that had not been at camp during my tenure, they were either in my sister’s bunk or knew my best friend’s sister. Our camp was small enough that everyone really knew everyone.
As we cried and grieved over the loss of our friend, we reconnected, laughed, shared stories and cried and grieved some more.
I’ve written about camp from the perspective of a parent and/or a therapist . I am writing about our kids and their experiences and how important their time at camp is for so many reasons. I didn’t realize how really important it was until today when my camp experience resurfaced as did the connections and relationships formed decades ago.
We will miss our friend so much. She was someone you were lucky to have known. She taught me more about relationships and kindness than I had realized. Her husband wrote this many times in their Caring Bridge site: call your people, let them know they are important, life is too unpredictable to have it any other way.
Yoga-works
Posted: January 12, 2015 Filed under: Uncategorized 2 Comments
I have been spending a lot of time at my beloved Beloved Yoga studio recently. A true enticer for me of late has been the warm toasty yoga room on these very cold mornings. I have been doing yoga on and off for a decade; this spring I started up again and I always wonder “why would I ever stop?”
The teachers are fabulous; they are so well educated and proficient at their skill. I have learned so much about the body, the mind, my own strength and potential. I love realizing how I struggled with a certain pose back in the summer that comes so easily to me now and seeing how my endurance has really improved from these months of practicing yoga.
The typical class is ninety minutes. The teachers often give a message in the beginning of class about balance, being in the present or any number of possibilities essential to both being on the yoga mat and living our daily lives. We then warm up, progress into a pretty intense flow workout where I love to really get my sweat on. The class then cools down a bit where we do a variety of still poses and balances. At the end we settle in to shavasana where we lie still for about five minutes and relax.
This ‘relax’ thing is harder than one might think. When they say relax, they really mean relax; not plan your grocery list, itemize your work to-do tasks or think about calling your mother-in-law. One of my favorite teachers encouraged me to try to feel my heart beat while in this pose. When I am struggling to still my mind, I often focus on his suggestion and am able to slow down and focus on, well, just nothing, which is the intended goal.
As I get in my car to drive home, I always feel really great. Each muscle has had a chance to be stretched or worked so my whole body feels wrung out. And, my mind is always usually perfectly still and calm as well (last week during shavasana, I did have a panic moment when I remembered that my quarterly taxes were due, but otherwise, I tend to achieve a very calm state).
One day the week before Christmas I had gone to one of my favorite morning classes before a client. I rushed home, showered and got to the office while still maintaining my post-yoga calm.
My client arrived in the throes of the pre-Christmas frenzy. There was talk of wrapping and shopping and cooking and extended family. She was feeling anxious and stirred up and I listened. I was still and slow, I responded calmly and from a very grounded spot. As the session progressed, my client began to slow down. She became more calm and peaceful; her speaking slowed and her anxiety decreased.
At the end she said “and this is why I scheduled a pre-Christmas Laurie appointment” (she may have even blurted out “you are a genius” at one point)(to which I just laughed and thanked the yoga teacher).
After the session, us both feeling very peaceful, I shared my “genius” with her.
I told her about my yoga class and my enhanced calm during this particular therapy session. I have known her for years; her sessions are generally on a different day when yoga is not part of my morning. We were both aware and impressed with how the yoga effected not just my state of being, but also my therapy presence and ultimately her state of being.
I have been very conscious of this in my subsequent sessions with all of my clients. I am really aware of channeling this inner yoga calm into the therapy room. What an amazing tool and quite the testament to mindfulness and the calm that is yoga; it does work!
Off they go…..again
Posted: August 20, 2014 Filed under: college Leave a comment
For years and years kids have been going off to college. Other than when I did it in the Dark Ages, I hadn’t paid much attention to this annual send-off. Two years ago several of my closest friends were packing up their oldest kids for college. I sat on the sidelines taking notes and preparing for our turn. Last year we successfully sent Kid #1 off for his freshman year. I thought it would be easier this year, but on Saturday as he sprinted headed back to school I felt sad and heavy and was/am really missing that kid (despite his shenanigans).
It is weird how my home life so often mimics my work life. On Monday a wonderful client literally went from his last therapy session back to his university. On Tuesday, a lovely young woman with whom I have been working since December came for her final session before heading off for her freshman year. As their therapist I bid them off with congratulations for doing such great work in therapy and thrilled for what lay in store for their coming year. As a mom, I felt that pang, thinking about their moms and knowing the hole that they leave behind.
With both of these clients (and always when a client is terminating therapy) I review what they will take with them in their ‘metaphorical’ tool box. We discuss what issues have been discussed, how they have been resolved and what to do if the struggles were to return. I told each of these kids that if they feel a “ripple” of an issue that they can contact me. I told them that they don’t have to ‘wait it out’ or let it get too big. In the same breath, I reassured them that it is completely normal to have a “bad day” or some “stress”. All of us humans have bad days followed, hopefully, by better ones. Mixed messages? Perhaps. But, I want them to have permission to both sit with a bad day, but not become overwhelmed if the bad day turns into old fears or anxieties.
I remember when touring colleges with Kid #1 (much to his dismay), I had several questions when the perky tour leaders pointed out the counseling center. I am so pleased that colleges are supportive of their students’ mental health. Sometimes I will do Skype therapy sessions with a client that has gone to college and other times they will contact a local therapist in the area or go through the college counseling center. It depends on the situation and the specific client; but I am always in contact with the treating therapist to assure that these kids are getting their needs met.
To the new freshman class and their parents, I wish you a great year. To all those returning students and their families, same to you. Kids – have fun, BE SAFE and don’t forget to call home.
The pain AND the ache
Posted: July 26, 2014 Filed under: Uncategorized Leave a comment
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Who remembers when I was going to physical therapy? My wonderful physical therapist, Andre Heletsi, healed my pains and tingles like a champ.
Andre has now opened Missing Link Physical Therapy in Loudon County. It is a unique physical therapy practice that addresses not only traditional physical therapy needs, but also those of athletes and dancers. The team includes physical therapists, personal trainers, massage therapists and a performing arts specialist. Their philosophy is to provide an in-depth assessment and treatment of their patients. Missing Link is a fee-for-service practice so that each patient receives more personal time and attention with their therapist than at an insurance based clinic. Andre’s vision is to treat the whole patient – mind, body and soul.
That is where I come in. Andre has invited me to help with the mental health piece. He and I have talked at length about the mind-body connection and how intertwined they are. He is viscerally aware when his patients’ physical ailments go beyond the body. Often trauma and stress can contribute to a chronic pain issue or to prolonged recovery from surgery or an injury.
My daughter was asking how my work and his were connected. I explained to her that “he can take away their pain” and she finished my sentence beautifully with “but not all of their ache.”
I am currently creating a workshop for Mind Link Physical Therapy; I plan to facilitate a discussion on the tools we can all implement to decrease both our pain and our ache. The date has yet to be decided (which is fine since the workshop is still in its early stages)(get to work, Laurie!), but it will be a free event at the beautiful Mind Link Physical Therapy facility.
I promise to keep you posted.
Another rant
Posted: June 24, 2014 Filed under: Uncategorized 2 Comments
Note to self: LET IT GO
Allow me a rant, I’m good at it, I’ve done it before, and well, it just needs to come out so I can it get out of my head space.
This winter it was cold, really cold. Our kids missed some school because it was cold. Then it snowed and iced and once again, school was cancelled, we had the joy of sleeping in, shoveling driveways and drinking hot cocoa.
Somewhere between then and now Fairfax County Schools decided to extend the school year due to the amount of school days missed. I heard the hemming and hawing and went about my business because June felt like it was far away. It is now June and Fairfax County Schools are not officially over until tomorrow; tomorrow as in they attend school for about 6 minutes, I guess just to call it a “school day” for the books.
I don’t know many students that are attending this week. Mine are home, their friends are home and many of the neighbors are home. The middle school is having field day today; my daughter’s friend just texted her a picture of them watching ‘Frozen’ in class. I don’t feel badly about her missing it, she’s seen the movie a million times.
A dear friend of mine has a beach house rented for this week. They booked it eons ago before the Winter of 2014 pounced on Northern Virginia. My friend’s husband is a teacher. Do you see where this is going? My friend drove herself and her two kids to the beach house without her husband so that he could stay behind and press the play button on the ‘Frozen’ DVD for his high school students. He will join them on Wednesday after the school day where the kids go to each class for 15 minutes to say their good-byes and sign yearbooks.
I understand the need for education. I am all for education and learning. NO ONE IS LEARNING THIS WEEK. They are biding time to say they met their school requirements. And, hard working teachers who did teach and educate throughout the year are missing family vacations etc. because of these added days where no one is teaching.
I don’t get it – if you do, please fill me in.
My Inside vs. Your Outside
Posted: June 16, 2014 Filed under: Friendship, school, Teenagers 2 Comments
A client’s mom recently asked me what I see as the biggest challenge for teens. I thought about all of the work I have done with so many different teens and answered based on what is most commonly discussed in my sessions. As teens walk through the hallways of their high schools they encounter hundreds of peers at each class passing and scrutinize the clothes, hair and bodies of their classmates. These teens see what appears to be ‘put together’ kids who look happy, confident and surrounded by friends and compare this image to their own inner struggles of anxiety, depression and low self-worth.
I remind my clients time and time again that they are comparing what they feel on the inside to what they see on others’ outsides. A teen who is feeling insecure and shy sees a bubbly group of kids walk by and assumes that the bubbly girls are happy and ‘perfect’. What the insecure teen doesn’t know is that Ms. Bubbly’s parents may be getting divorced, she may be failing in school or she may have an eating disorder. Another piece of this puzzle is that as low as the insecure teen may feel, Ms. Bubbly might look at her and think that she has it all together and is stress free.
One never knows what is going on inside of another person or what happens behind the closed doors of what appears to be the perfect home. Too often we assume based on what we perceive to be someone’s happiness, and so many times we have assumed wrong.
I have clients tell me that they work really hard to look “happy” at school so that people won’t know that they are suffering. I ask if they share their sadness or problems with their friends and most of the time they say that they don’t; they don’t want people to know, they don’t want to burden their friends or it is just easier to not discuss their pain. I’m grateful that these kids are able to open up to me (or rather break the silence after gentle therapeutic coercion; they rarely want to talk to me either). I do wish they had others with whom they felt safe about disclosing their personal challenges.
I have yet to meet the ‘perfect’ person. I share this with my clients regularly and the notion that everyone has challenges and bad days. It is true that some suffer more than others, but there is no one that is issue- free. Often I use the word “human” when trying to impress upon my clients that no one is perfect. We are all human; we hurt, we laugh, we grieve and we celebrate.
I must say, we grown-ups often fall into the same patterns of comparing our insides with others’ outsides. That one has a nice car, great kids or perfect vacations; not so true. Just like with the teens, we adults are not always aware of the struggles that our peers endure. If you or your teen falls into the “compare and despair” habit, try to remember that things aren’t always as they appear.
Community College: A great choice for some
Posted: May 29, 2014 Filed under: college, Teenagers Leave a comment
Disclaimer: Each of my client cases are fictional. They are compilations of hundreds of client situations I have encountered throughout my career. This is to protect the confidentiality of my clients. Anything that may resemble a real person or family is simply a coincidence.
Last night was the Spring Sports Awards Banquet at my son’s school. ‘Banquet’ in the sense that the teens dressed nicely and ate California Tortilla in the cafeteria. The coaches spoke and presented awards, the teens were polite and enthusiastic and it was a nice event to celebrate these athletes.
After the initial dinner and awards, each team had their own presentation. At the track break-out meeting, the coaches got more personal, talked about the season and highlighted several of the most improved and best sportsmanship award winners.
All of the seniors were asked to stand in the front of the room, introduce themselves, announce in which track event they competed and share where they would be going to school next year. There were at least fifteen kids; handsome, fit, young and proud standing before us. They spoke from the left side of the room towards the right: Virginia Tech, Virginia Tech, James Madison, Virginia Tech, William and Mary and it proceeded. I smiled when one boy said North Carolina noting that someone was leaving the state. Then one boy shyly said “unlike the rest, NOVA for two years and then Virginia Tech”. The line went on to Virginia Tech, UVA and Georgetown.
My heart sunk. I don’t think anyone else noticed the discomfort emanating from this young man, but I couldn’t let it go. He seemed ashamed of his choice and intimidated by all of the four year schools that his teammates were attending.
The pressure that these kids experience day in and day out can be overwhelming; from appearances to finances to grades, peer groups and college. There seems to always be an opportunity for shame and comparison as a teen (and adult as well).
As I mentioned in this blog post , I have worked with many students attending Northern Virginia Community College. Some students began at NOVA directly after high school and some started at another school and for various reasons decided that NOVA was a better fit for them.
It has been a great learning opportunity for me to work with these clients that are attending NOVA. I’ve learned a lot about the NOVA system, its academics and its culture. One client who had struggled at several other universities grabbed an opportunity at NOVA and soared. He took his classes seriously and put a great deal of time into his studies. He was thrilled when he found that he was getting all A’s and gained an entirely new outlook on academics and his own power to have success.
One of my clients struggles with learning challenges. This client has embraced his studies at NOVA and also had success. He took the placement exams before matriculating which placed him in the proper classes for his specific abilities. He has enjoyed his classes and been able to receive the help that he needs with his specific challenges.
Another one of my clients always felt “dumb” at his private high school. He spent a semester at a larger university and decided that it was not the right fit for him. Since being at NOVA, this client has become a new student; he feels comfortable in his classes, has felt encouraged to raise his hand and participate regularly. He likes the fact that the pressure is less and it is a more relaxed atmosphere.
A few years ago, I was having a discussion with two friends. One of them made a derogatory comment about someone going to NOVA. I stopped her and requested that she re-evaluate her comment. After working with all of these kids, some of who do have shame about attending NOVA, I have a better appreciation for their journey. I want to promote the upside to community college; it can be right for so many. With the price of college, many kids have to attend NOVA for economic reasons solely. And, as I have stated, sometimes it is just a better fit for some students.
I am really glad that my clients have taught me about positive aspects of community college and I hope to help shape others who have yet to see the benefits.
As much as the therapist in me wanted to approach the boy last night and tell him “it’s going to be okay”, the mother in me knew that both he, and my son, would have been mortified had I done something so outrageous (and my poor son has been witness to many an outrageous measure performed by this mother of his). I do hope that someone tells that young man that it is okay and he is going to get exactly what he needs as he continues on his own personal academic path.
Temper the stress of exam time
Posted: April 29, 2014 Filed under: Anxiety, school, stress, Teenagers Leave a comment
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Ah the stress of April and May – SOL’s, AP’s, SAT’s …..the alphabet continues. Exams, projects and more.
Today I was greeted by a good-morning text from that college kid who was up all night studying for exams. Last week, a client shared that at the end of her Spring Break, she was so anxious about the numerous AP exams ahead of her that she was unable to enjoy her last weekend of vacation. My sophomore in high school is spending the end of April reviewing for all of the upcoming assessments that occur in May. (My confusion lies in the fact that Fairfax County schools have been extended until June 25, and yet, this high schooler claims that they are done learning new material in the third week in April. Once the exams are done the Finding Nemo continuous feed begins in many of the classrooms while the kids sleep at their desks…don’t get me started)
So, how do we help the kids with the stress and the reviews and the push for high grades and high scores?
If I have learned anything, I have learned about the diminishing returns of sitting on one’s butt and staring at a page in a book. Sadly, I didn’t really learn it until graduate school, thus have wasted many an hour in the library getting nothing done.
I encourage students to spend a finite amount of time (1 1/2 -2 hours depending on the student) focusing hard and then take a break. Get up, take a walk, have a snack for a brief period of time (20-30 minutes) and then return to the studying a bit fresh and renewed. So many of us have spent six hours at a desk but only gotten half as much work done.
Sleep. It’s a good thing. How can we operate at our best either studying or performing at an exam if our body is in overdrive from not sleeping?
Food. That helps too. Especially a breakfast before an exam. I remember being told for best results to eat eggs for breakfast the morning of the SAT’s; the green smoothie phase had yet to be enacted in the early eighties. Blend away my friends, our current SAT takers need their kale.
Other things that have been helpful are group studying. Not the kind where your basement is filled with teens and closed backpacks while the XBOX is on. But, two or three kids seriously quizzing one another and talking about the material can really help kids learn the content, retain the information and stay focused. I might encourage some popcorn or pizza to add to the focus.
And, please, remind your kids that it is all okay. All that matters is that they do their best. The students that are super high stressed need reassurance that it is just a test. It is an assessment of what they know at the time that they sit for the exam. The tests are not self-esteem measures, although too often some kids see them as so. A child who may struggle academically may view a hard test or a low grade as another failure on their part; this should be avoided at all cost.
Academics and grades are one part of who we are. I hope that we all remember to remind our kids that they are special and unique people despite their GPA’s; this can be easily forgotten amidst the stress of the moment.
This soccer mom has retired her cleats
Posted: April 14, 2014 Filed under: connection, daily life, Friendship, Parenting, sports, Teenagers Leave a commentAlthough this post is a little less ‘therapist’ and more ‘mom’ than normal, I write with both hats as I know many of my clients who have been on a baseball field, pool bleacher or dance theater and can definitely relate to the sentiments presented.
Grab your cleats, water bottle, shin guards and GET IN THE CAR…the words of every soccer mom.
Week after week, practice and dinner, dinner and practice and then weekend games. Home or Away? House or Travel League? Win or Lose?
The soccer moms were my lifeline “can you drive him, I have a client ?” . “We are out of town, can he stay with you for that game?” “I got this practice, can you get tomorrow?”.
We spent hours on bleachers together; the soccer moms (and dads). Freezing our tails off and burning into lobsters – soccer has no regard for the weather, if the fields are open they are playing.
So many different teams; the three-year-old clinics, the house league made up of kids from the elementary school, the All Star team and the merging of house teams to make a travel team. Each season new faces; new players bringing with them new parents.
The parents became my friends. I spent more time with them than with my dearest girlfriends. It was so very seasonal; we’d be in each other’s faces all Fall until the break before a short indoor Winter season and then Spring season started up again. We rarely spoke to one another off season, but there were always warm greetings and hugs at the beginning of a new game rotation.
Tournaments, oh the tournaments. Up at o’dark thirty to drive hours to a field in nowheresville. Myself, another mom and four boys in my van. It was always sweeter heading out than the return trip with the sweaty socks and smelly boys on their phones in the back. We’ve had team meals all over Virginia, West Virginia, Maryland and Pennsylvania, gathered in many a hotel lobby for pizza and once, even washed the uniforms in the hotel laundry room. And, never was a weekend so much fun and connecting than the exhausting cold (and/or hot) tournament weekends.
Constant laughter filled the parent cheering section. We rooted for each other’s kids and cringed together when one of our players missed a crucial shot. At every (and their were many) injury, all the moms pooled their Advil and ice in the spirit of healing. On the sidelines we talked about books and vacation spots, we compared notes about our growing kids and tried to get the scoop on our own kid from a more-knowing mom.
We always had a season end party; often at my house which was a lot of fun. Fourteen sweaty boys in my basement playing X-box and a bunch of parents celebrating another good season of soccer and teamwork.
With the start of each season we would lose a player or two. They moved, switched schools or went to another team. For me, it was sad. I missed the kid and I missed the mom, my friend. I would bump into her at the grocery store, we hugged, caught up and moved on to our shopping list. Where was the bond? Was it a real friendship? All those texts between games, the laughter in our soccer chairs with the sun beating on our faces, it was so genuine at the moment and then our kids took us to different fields and new parent groups.
I could always count on the next season bringing another new kid with new parents. New friends. More car pool combinations. More tournaments and laughter.
Last year there was a shift. High school made for more options: Cross Country team, track, swimming and basketball. The kids had new and differing interests. They also had more school work and less time.
My kid began Cross Country/Track all three seasons; he liked it and was progressing really well. Daily practices, weekly meets as well as a heavy academic load plus soccer practices and games became overwhelming. It was too much to make it all work and something had to give – my kid quit soccer.
Suddenly, I am a track mom.
But, what about our soccer friends? The connections, the games, the great coach and the wonderful memories.
Was it all just that: soccer? He misses it, he loves soccer, but he is running and has joined a new group of athletes. Does he feel the loss like I do? I miss the team, the friends, the game. Sure, he misses it, but he is a sixteen year old boy, not a hormonal therapist mom who oozes in emotions.
Don’t get me wrong, track is great. The parents are wonderful and supportive, the coach is tough and committed. A Cross Country meet can be half as long as a soccer game and the school provides buses!, but I miss MY soccer people.
What does it all mean? This role of being the kids’ mom to whatever activity is the activity du jour? Are connections fleeting? Were they real? Was it just in the moment on that one field?
I don’t have the answers, but I do have great memories and wonderful people in my heart that I know will cross my path again be it in the produce section or on some bleacher in my future.
Retired cleats and shin guard (oh so stinky)
Pride bubbles
Posted: March 26, 2014 Filed under: joy, pride 2 Comments
As a parent, what fills your pride bubble? Is it bringing the newborn home, that first poopie on the potty or marching into kindergarten with your proud five year old? There are so many moments; I wonder if we take the time to appreciate them enough?
Critics and naysayers say we celebrate our kids too much. They don’t know how to lose, get a C or miss a soccer goal. I tend to see it from the other angle, perhaps because I see kids at their most raw. I see the sadness and the pain, uncertainty and anxiety.
Many kids feel inadequate, both in their homes and amongst their peers. Often they compare themselves to their siblings or to what they perceive their parents expect. One twenty year old middle son of three told me “I guess I’m considered the failure child since both of my brothers got the yadda yadda scholarship to yadda yadda college”. As I gently reminded him that his college acceptance was quite an excellent feat, he shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly without recognizing any personal achievement.
I feel a need to celebrate the successes. I’ve had the privilege of witnessing many great times of my kids, my clients and my friends’ kids and these moments make my heart happy. I have one friend who, although she is four years younger than me, her kids are all a year older than mine. At each of their celebrations I have the opportunity to witness her family’s joy as I stand behind the plate on deck. Bar Mitzvahs, graduations and college acceptances have been a source of pride for her, me and our collective families; personally there is just never too much joy.
Weddings, pregnancies, birthdays; they are plastered all over social media and I love it. Where some people have commented that social media, or specifically Facebook for us over forty crowd, makes them feel inadequate or jealous when people brag about their kids’ achievements, I feel otherwise. I love seeing the positive, the joy and the accomplishments – all I have to do is click over to the Washington Post to get a dose of tragedy and despair.
I encourage us all to celebrate the joys; be in the moment and take it all in. We all experience health issues, disappointment and life challenges, why not let loose on the good stuff when we can?
This post was prompted by an upcoming celebration in my family. I am swelling with pride as I think about my daughter’s Bat Mitzvah next week; she has worked very hard and is beyond excited for her special day. We will worship and celebrate her rite of passage as a family and a community. I think I am writing this for me as a reminder to celebrate and be filled with pride, to let go of the little details like guests flights and menus and focus on the moments that highlight the joy and celebration of my daughter.
My pride bubble is/will be bursting. I choose to celebrate the joy and be proud of my kid. Tell me more about your joys; it’s contagious and so much fun to fill our air with little bubbles filled with pride and joy.
Laurie Levine LCSW 