Mother Daughter Group Revisited

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Last fall I wrote these two posts about our Mother Daughter group (here and here).  After some honest discussion with the other moms, I decided to stop writing about our specific group. As wonderful as it is, we wanted to keep it private and safe for the girls to grow and share openly.  The thought was that if they  knew I was blogging about it, even though I keep it strictly anonymous, there may be some hesitation about sharing.  I wholeheartedly agreed, so have stopped writing about the particulars of our monthly group meetings.

Throughout the year,  we have evolved into a cohesive and connected group. We met monthly, rotating between peoples’ homes although a few times we met in other venues such as Rebounders, a restaurant or a sports pavilion.  The host mom and daughter would plan a craft or a game as well as a potluck meal and lead discussion topics that the group had suggested the previous month.  Discussions have included gossip, bullying, boy-girl relationships and appropriate clothing choices.  The girls were initially very shy, but have become so comfortable that they are leading discussions and opening up with much ease.

We met again last week culminating our first year together.  The weather was beautiful, we met at a neighborhood pool and the day was just perfect.  The girls initially went in the pool while the moms chatted around a table.  When they got hungry, the girls gravitated towards the snacks at the table adjacent to the moms.  Before we realized it, the girls had pulled up chairs and we were all gathered around the table sharing stories of  summer trips and camp.

Later that evening one of the moms sent a group email reflecting on how nice the day had been and how she noticed that the girls had pulled their chairs up to our table, something that would not have happened even a few months ago.  We were operating as a unified group; moms and daughters as a unit.  One mom was helping my  daughter with make-up advice, something that is fairly foreign to me while another girl shared how she allocated her allowance for her back-to-school purchases.  It was so special to witness how close the girls and moms have become  over the last twelve months.

I have been thinking about offering a group of this nature for moms and daughters through my practice.  Many moms in my community have commented on  how wonderful our group is and how helpful it would be for them and their daughters.  This group would be structured a bit differently as I would be the facilitator and not a mom.  It would be in my office and have some differences to the one that I have been writing about;  I see a great deal of potential having it in such a setting with the ability to grow very strong bonds and do meaningful work as has been done in our group in a less formal setting.

I am asking  you readers for your thoughts.  Would this be something that you and your daughter might be interested in? Would you be willing to commit to a monthly and/or twice a  month meeting which would include some, yet to be decided, fee? Would you be open to this fabulous experience for not only your daughters, but for you as well (the relationships that we have formed as moms have become as important to me as  have the relationships between the girls)?

Please do chime in as it will help me to decide if the interest is out there for this type of group.  I have invested time and energy into other groups that have not taken flight, so trust that your feedback is very important.  Thanks for your thoughts.



4 Comments on “Mother Daughter Group Revisited”

  1. I guess it would be depend on who was in the group. And I’m not sure that I have a composition in my mind that would work for my daughter. If the group were complete strangers, I think my daughter would be too shy to say much of anything. However, if they were people who were in my daughter’s classes, I think that presents other issues of not wanting to say too much. It sounds like you had the ideal setting in that the girls in your group saw each other for a couple of hours a week on a regular basis in another setting. I am not sure that friendships would develop if the girls only saw each other for a couple of hours once a month in your office. I’m interested in the thoughts of others. Thanks for sharing with me!

    • Dawn-
      Thanks so much for your honest feedback. I REALLY appreciate it and you make many good points.
      My hunch is that if the girls met twice a month they would bond very quickly. As a whole our girls have used the group as their bonding time and not their time in Hebrew School.

  2. Melissa says:

    I love this idea. I am assuming you are talking about therapist mom’s and their daughters’ which are a very unique group and might enjoy the validation community brings. I think the age range of the daughters would be an important issue in my determination process. I’d love to hear more.

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